i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
