dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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