Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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