one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
