So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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