do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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