Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
