I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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