I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize