I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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