this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
