i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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