As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
