elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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