Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
