You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
