finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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