I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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