and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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