That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Randomize