what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Randomize
