That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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