similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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