i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
