Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You need a sexual gate keeper
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
