Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize