Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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