Just took my morning after pill in the library
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
