Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
