i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
