Kiss
Puke
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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