I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
