I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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