Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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