Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
