Pregnant stripper...not hot.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
