i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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