Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
