Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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