What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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