some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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