I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
