omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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