Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
