Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
