Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
