Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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