so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
