you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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