You're my little dorito
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
