I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
