this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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