his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
