every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
