So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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