You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
