She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
