wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
