I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
