Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize