So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
