I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
