I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
