i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
