Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
