sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
zippers are such a cool invention
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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