Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The air was thick with penises
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
This is my gift to your gina
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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