if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
