i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
