Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
