What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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