She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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