Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
