you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
