Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
