do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
