matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
