What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You made out with two different species that night
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
