sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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