Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
it hurts more in the daytime
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Randomize
