ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
