pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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